Too Late
by shedemonwolf
Summary: Mu reflects on what he didn't say. (One-shot, implied Shaka X Mu, Spoilers for Hades Chapter)


_Type:_ One-shot.  
_Disclaimer:_ I do not own Saint Seiya, this is just a non profit way to entertain my messed up mind.  
_Warning:_ Angst and reflective sadness. Implied manlove. Bad, possibly changing tense.  
_Spoilers:_ Yes, for the Hades Chapter. Specifically OVAs 8-10.  
_Notes:_ A rather dark, reflective piece from Mu's point of view. Please excuse any typos and other silly errors, this is unbetad.

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**Too Late**

I walked to the House of Virgo that morning, intending to talk to you. I had left my own House empty, my usual prudence replaced by a strange new need. I had to see you; I had to tell you. A strange force was driving me, and I couldn't quite understand it – but something inside me was chiding me to reveal my feelings for you, before it was too late.

I couldn't understand why it would ever be too late. We were Saints; nearly invincible, almost immortal – and you, you were nearly a god anyway. I could hate myself for it now, because if I hadn't been so preoccupied I would have seen it too, and I would have prepared, and I wouldn't have wasted my time avoiding my feelings.

I stood in front of the House of Virgo, inhaling the faint smell of incense that clung on the air, because it reminded me of you. I stepped into the cool shadows of the dominating pillars, expecting to see you there, deep in meditation. I closed my eyes, and my courage left me. I didn't even know why I was here, but you probably did.

You weren't sitting in your usual place. You were standing by the entrance to the Garden; leaning against the heavy oak doors, one hand covering your face, and your eyes were unfocused. I rushed forward to help you, and I grabbed you just before you fell.

I held you while you recovered. For those few precious moments, my heart leapt a wild dance and I felt whole. If only I could have made myself say it.

"Shaka?" My voice quivered, and I had no control over the way I was shaking. You smiled slightly, but kept your eyes closed.

"Mu? I wasn't expecting any visitors," you said softly. Your forehead was covered in tiny bright beads of sweat, and there were tracks on your cheeks where confused tears had fallen only seconds ago. I couldn't help holding you a little tighter. You smiled again.

"What is it?" I tried, biting my lip as once again my voice betrayed me. Your eyes flickered open for a second, and I caught a rare glimpse of an unreal cobalt blue.

"Can't you feel it?" You asked. I shook my head. Your face was so sad, sadder than usual. The pain of knowing what lay ahead made it worse for you.

"Can't you feel them?"

"Shaka, what is it?" You did not answer, but you got up and pointed towards the horizon. The sky was strange colour, even though it was cloudless. You sighed, and that sound filled me with hurt.

"Listen…"

That's when I felt it too, and it was already too late. The air was crackling with a kind of static, and it was a warning to us Saints, that trouble was on its way. I nodded, but I didn't understand. We _were_ Saints, we would fight whatever threatened Sanctuary and we would win, because we had Athena on our side.

You shook your head. Your golden hair fluttered and danced on a morning breeze.

"I don't understand it yet," you told me. "But when they come, you have to promise me one thing."

I nodded. For you, I would have done anything.

You whirled round and pushed me – pinned me to the nearest pillar. You needed to make sure I understood that you were serious. I shivered, and even though I felt that thrill of fear, I couldn't help noticing how lightly your hands were gripping my wrists.

You were so close, but I had already missed my chance. I wanted to tell you the truth, wanted to explain everything, but I couldn't. And now, it was too late.

It was hard to love a man who was practically a god.

"I promise," I whispered. I could smell incense on your hair.

"Let them come to me."

I couldn't understand what you were asking me to do. I heard fear in your voice, but I heard hope too. I felt panic rising in me, gripping at my throat, making me sick and disorientated. I wanted to stop you; my heart was begging you to think again.

That night, the fallen ones would try to walk the paths of Sanctuary again. And you knew what to do; you had already made your choice.

I couldn't help feeling that I had already lost you. Even though you were standing close enough for me to feel your warmth, I couldn't do or say anything.

Three words is all it would have taken.

I could have whispered them in your ear, or I could have shouted them. I could have left them as a parting kiss. But I didn't.

Maybe you already knew, because you leant down and kissed the corner of my mouth softly, and you held my face for a few seconds.

Or maybe you loved me, like I loved you, but never found the right way to tell me. I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to say it.

"Thank you," you whispered, and walked away. You left me standing at the entrance to the House of Virgo, watching you disappear for the last time.

_Too late_.

**xxxxxxxxx**

That night they came, and with dread I started to understand. I knew that there was nothing that could stop _them _now, and that I could do nothing to stop _you_. You had seen all this; you understood and accept it, while I struggled to even comprehend the reasoning behind this.

I wasn't to stop them. I wasn't to stop you. We were fighting for Athena, and even she came to understand your actions. I could only watch you fight your last battle.

You had made your choice, and it was too late to change your mind.

It was far too late for me to tell you now. I wonder if things would have been different, had I told you to begin with. It was torment, knowing things might have been better if only I had found the right way.

I hadn't tried hard enough. Hadn't found the right time, hadn't taken the final step.

_Sorry_.

**xxxxxxxxx**

You chose to be under the Twin Salas, just like the Buddha. They followed you out there, and you fought your last battle. With your last breath, you condemned them. I had to barricade the doors to the Garden, to stop the others from rushing in.

Aiolia was furious. He roared threat upon threat to me, demanding that I get out of the way. He wanted to save you. So did Seiya and the others. I was only beginning to understand the meaning of this sacrifice, only now was I seeing the plan behind this loss.

But I still didn't truly know why. You had meant to die all along. It was your plan, your way of offering your service to Athena. Were you trying to prove yourself? No, you were not like that, you were already too perfect to fall for such simple martyrdom.

What had you seen? What did you know that we did not? Did death even mean the same thing to you as it did to us? Probably not. You were so different in every way, wise and knowing. What other secrets were you hiding?

I couldn't believe that you had gone into this knowing you would die. I could not accept that you had chosen this.

But apparently, you had.

Then I saw Saga, and he was holding your rosary beads. I felt cold. He gave me a faint knowing smile, and I wondered whether he had understood Shaka's plan. Maybe he was part of his plan, because I felt Athena's warming cosmos flow through me right then.

It did not comfort me. The cold was reaching into the depth of my mind, and all I wanted was to deny this. I don't remember crying, but maybe I did.

No sadness, no pain. Just a great empty void gnawing at my soul. I had lost you, and it really was too late.

Saga handed me your rosary beads. He couldn't quite meet my gaze when he did it. I took them, carefully holding them, hoping that maybe they would lead me back to you. They were still warm from were you had clutched them. I started to shake.

This was too much for me. I questioned my role as a Saint, I wondered whether I was truly meant for this. I was supposed to be strong, but I felt weak. The death of a comrade should not have phased me, but I was too loving, too involved.

You would never know how much I had cared for you. If you had known, would you have spared your self this fate?

Would you have loved me back? Did you love me back? Would it have mattered?

The air trembled with ripples of you cosmos. For a few lost seconds, it felt as if you were there beside me with your spirit engulfing me. The last traces of your soul came to me, almost as if to reassure me. I smiled, because maybe you had understood what I felt.

I bowed my head away from the others and whispered three words into the wind.

_Better late than never._

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A/N: What is it with me and the angst as of late? I hope this wasn't too depressing for anyone. Again, I apologize for the unbetad state, so err…ignore anything stupid mistakes I may not have noticed. _Reviews would make my day_ (seriously, they would – yes, pathetic, I know). 


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